Effects of divorce on the children are explained

Some parents who have filed divorce petitions often ask the question “should we reunite for providing good life to the kids?”  Others are pretty sure that divorce is the only solution before them for their innumerable problems faced by them.

Though there may be many questions like how they are going to live their future life, custody of the children etc, the most important issue that pains their mind is the question how divorce is going to affect the lives of their children?

What will be the psychological effects of a divorce on the children’s lives? Some researchers say that most children will be able to overcome in most cases, though it is very stressful to them.  Only in a few cases the kids rebound faster. But there is good news, that the parents can take positive steps to minimize the psychological effects following a divorce. Some supporting strategies put forward by researchers in this regard can be helpful to the kids in adjusting their life after the divorce has occurred.

First year after it takes place:

Divorce rates have   gone up at a faster rate globally and they are at the maximum in countries like USA and UK. According to available data about 48 % of the children of these countries become children of divorced single parents before they reach the age of 16. Researchers have found that such kids will be struggling hard during the first and second year of the divorce of their parents. Distress, anxiety, anger, disbelief etc are commonly felt by these children during this period. As time goes kids become more adaptive to the changed circumstances in their lives. But a small portion of the children find it difficult to cope up with the situation. In some cases, lifelong problems develop in such children.

Emotional impact on kids

The emotional turmoil is created by divorce on the family. This can be very scary, frustrating and confusing in the case of kids. Young children are not able to understand why they have to go to two homes. They start apprehending   that if parents stopped loving each other one day they will stop loving their kids also. Grade school kids often feel that the divorce was caused as a result of their fault or some misbehavior from their part. Teenagers can become angry about the changes caused as a result of the divorce. They will start blaming one parent or the other or the both for what had happened or for the upheavals in the family caused as a result of the divorce. In some cases the child may feel relieved, if divorce results in lesser arguments and lesser stress.

Stressful events following a divorce

Divorce causes the children to lose daily contact with one of the parents, most often their father. Reduced contacts loosen the bond between the child and the parent especially the father. The child’s relationship with the custodial parent, most often the mother also gets strained. Studies show that mothers of such children often tend to be less affectionate and less supportive after divorce. The discipline of the mother also deteriorates and become less effective.

For some children the hardest part of a divorce is not the parental separation, but the other paraphernalia that accompanies a divorce like change of schools, moving to new home at a new location etc are more horrifying and stressful to them. Living with a single mother who is more tired and exhausted as  a result of divorce is the most difficult and unbearable thing for some children.


Most divorced parents remarry in America within three or four years after the divorce takes place. This means most children have to face new parents in place of their original and old parents. This is going to be a most enduring matter for all the children of the divorced parents. Step father or mother followed by step siblings can become a big problem to the children of the divorced parents. Sometimes the second marriage can also fail and become a more serious problem to the already tired and strained children. In America many children experience repeated divorces and its devastating effects.

All About Collaborative Divorce

Divorce is the legal separation of a married couple and is often carried out with the assistance of a divorce lawyer. It usually involves a lot of visits to the court rooms along with your family lawyer and is a gruesome experience that even the enemy should not have to go through. Though divorce cannot be pleasant but the pain and trouble of court hearings can be eased if you opt for collaborative divorce.

What Is Collaborative Divorce?

Collaborative divorce is a type of divorce in which both the parties i.e. husband and wife are willing to separate from each other and end their relationship as a lawfully wedded couple. This eliminates the need to go to the court since both parties are agreed to separate. However, there might be other things that would need negotiation such as child custody, property or financial assets distributions or other matters. This is when the couple would need to hire a family lawyer to meet with them outside the court and help them resolve their issues so that their divorce can be finalized. This is known as collaborative court and it happens outside of the court room.

Who Can Opt For It?

Any couple who is willingly filing for separation for each other but need to resolve conflicts regarding other matters (mentioned above) can opt for the collaborative divorce.

How Does Collaborative Divorce Happen?

The one thing pretty obvious and clear about collaborative divorce is that it happens outside the court room. So it could be any setting that you prefer i.e. office of your lawyer, counselor or even at your home. You, your soon-to-be ex-partner along with the attorneys from both sides will be present during these meet up sessions. The main purpose of this will be to look for solution to common conflicts so that the plea for divorce can be submitted to the court to be finalized without any court hearings or delays. This will be helpful as it saves you from going to the court, attending hearings and getting caught up in the legal hassle.

Benefits of Collaborative Divorce

As absurd as it may sound but there are actually several benefits that are associated with filing for collaborative divorce rather than doing it the traditional way. Divorce is bad and we do not encourage it but any professional divorce lawyer, Alexandria VA will recommend opting for collaborative divorce is you are to take the extreme decision. The first advantage of this type of divorce is that it saves a lot of time since you will not have to attend court room hearings that last for hours multiple times a week.

  1. It saves money. The divorce lawyer you hire for personal sittings will charge only a fraction of what a court attorney charges per hearing session.
  2. You do not have to provide any sort of evidence or face any allegations. The exchange is friendly, open, honest and very transparent.
  3. Both parties have an equal chance to contribute to the exchange and will be happy with the outcome.